3 Bier System.

3 Beer review. Get it. Not the 3 Tier system...... Like how many brew pubs/breweries and even fantastic, out this world, because this beer store is your family sort of place are fighting against... in case you don't know me, the later was referring to the four firkins! ( http://fourfirkins.cloudprofile.com/ ). I'm cool. Don't worry about it.


Anyhow....


Southern Tier – Imperial iniquity black ale.

This isn’t going to be a good one; both in writing and in final judgment. Beware.

As bottle states: 9% ABV/ 21◦ Plato/ 2R pale malt, debittered black malt, kettled hops: Chinook, cascade. Hop back: Willamette. Dry hops: cascade, centennial. [Interesting that they went as detailed as to when they added which hops. Might as well tell us what the ratio was and which kind of cascades they used.]

Poured dark, but not black. Little carbonation. Clean. Easy to drink. However, it’s very carmely (yup, it’s a word now) and something else sweet. Some spice or something I can’t describe. No, not that it’s spiced. Let’s rephrase. It’s something sweet I don’t like and cannot adequately describe to you. It reminds me slightly of black licorice, which I hate, by the way. Roasted. But not the nice normal caramel roast you encounter with most stouts… it’s that black malt… It tastes exactly how it smells. And no, I'm not being racist. Or maltist. Or whatever. It's just black malt....it's just interesting. Like when you’re in a candle shop, smelling all those different scents, and you come across something like, oh I don’t know, musk…. and you’re like, “Oooh, that’s interesting!”, and you make your friend smell it. And you’re friend is like, “Are you going to buy it?!”, and to which you reply, “Fuck no. What am I going to do with "musk"?” which is exactly my point. I just don’t like black malt. I don’t know why. Probably because it reminds me of black licorice, which I have some unexplainable strong aversion too. I mean, it’s fine in small quantities. But it just seems to me like they used too much of it.

However, this beer, which I would never just drink on its own, ever again, would pair beautifully. With the right food, this beer might actually be heaven. I imagine it would taste well with smoked BBQ pork. And it might go good with something like tiramisu. Or a dark chocolate cheesecake. Or so I am imagining. As I am not a chef, nor do I have well stocked fridge, I cannot experiment. Nor am I skilled at food and craft beer pairing….yet.

Best thing about it: The bottle. Cool design. In addition, a little bit of history is on the bottle. TIL (things I learned) – hexagram – or six point star was the customary symbol of brewing representing the essential pure ingredients of the craft: water, hops, grain, malt, yeast and of course the brewer. [Side thought: Aaah….um, grain and malt… isn’t that redundant? Unless I guess you used roasted barley, which hasn’t gone through the malting process, but still, that’s not customary to all brews. Unless they are considering the actual malting of your grain a part of brewing, so then, yes, perhaps. Though, if that’s the case it wouldn’t be 6 points because you’re forgetting the maltster? Or do they think that this brewing asshole does it all? Grow their own hops too? No. You did it wrong. Or maybe it's talking about when brewers used to malt their own barley in ancient days, but back then, they didn't use hops, they used spices... so.... WTF? (Sorry, thinking out loud, in a manner of speaking)] The bottle then goes on to talk about why they chose to call it iniquity, meaning opposing goodness, which is fitting, because it’s literally how I took it. Anyways, it says that it’s contrary to what one might expect from an IPA—well, no shit, Sherlock, it’s a black ale—because it’s an ale as black as night and is the antithesis of Unearthly. Um, and no, it’s not as black as night, but close. Maybe as black as good potting soil, but not the night, or some emo kids heart. Blah blah blah.

Grade: C*

Curious about the Brewer’s Star: http://www.brewingmuseum.org/article10.htm
And also, there’s a brewery called Sixpoint in NY based off of this ancient symbol. And here’s a little ditty on them from great brewers: http://greatbrewers.com/brand/sixpoint  …WHICH BY THE WAY, notice in the picture when pouring malt into the mill, whose malt they are pouring. Rahr. That’s right. Pwned.

Review of Radeberger Pilsner:

How the hell do you review a pilsner? To me, a pilsner needs to be your thirst quenching beer. Something you can pound. It’s not water, but it doesn’t have a body. This isn’t going to be the love of your life. Nor is it going to be the best lay you’ve ever had. This is going to be your filler. What you drink when you don’t want the thrill of adventure you might get with a wild beer like some DIPA, or any sort of sophistication you’ll get with a Belgian, nor any dramatic novel you might find in a stout. This is the sports illustrated of craft beer. All you need to know is if the lens is out of focus. Well, I’ll use that analogy because most craft beer drinkers are men. If it’s too malty, or too hoppy, then it’s out. And in no way should it be hazy. Or even really golden, it must be less than that. This beer is: a hot summer day. Grilling out. Working up a sweat. Taking clothes off. That’s what a pilsner is. And this beer, well it didn’t fail. As to say what notes I tasted, yadha blah blah blah… no. Only note to be noted, good pilsner or not. This passed. If I can imagine coming home from some grueling physical activity, dripping with sweat, wanting to tear my clothes off sort off because I'm so hot.... And I imagine myself in front of my fridge… would I grab this? Yes, I would. And that is my pass fail of a pilsner. Way to go Germany. My shirts off to you.

Grade: B

Victory’s Storm King Imperial Stout

Oofdah. Speaking of taking your clothes off.

Maybe it’s just because one of my beer weaknesses is a well done, not sweet, imperial stout. Yes, folks. I’d bring shame to my family for an incredible imperial stout or an DIPA. Now you know. One of my many flaws.
This might not be a contender for my top 3 spots in the imperial stout category. But this is well done. And is actually more drinkable than my top spots. Ok… they go back and forth, but just for clarification at this moment, the order follows: Surly – Darkness, Weyerbacher – Tiny, Goose Island – Nighstalker, Great Divide – Espresso Oak Aged Yeti. So, for practicality it gets more points for being highly drinkable. But let’s face it, when you reach for a stout, you’re not reaching for something you’re about to slam. It’s roasted. And bitter. But not strictly bitter, I can actually taste the slight pine and citrus. Which is interesting in combination with this roasted flavor. Usually, in a well hopped stout, I don’t detect this note as strongly. But this is a lighter, cleaner stout. Also, no vanilla or caramel notes, that I notice. And the roasted flavor does not linger. In addition, the taste is stronger than the aroma. Usually, when tasting beers, I inhale while I drink to enhance the effect. But inhale alone doesn’t provide much with this brew. Not very aromatic. Though it smells sweeter than it tastes.
This would be good with something smoked, and spicy. Because it has the elements to bring out flavor components in a smoked meat, but it’s also clean, crisp and very, very slightly citrus(y) and can cut away from some of the more extreme peppers in certain rubs. And you can have more than one. So this beer is how it is brewed…a victory. Charlie Sheen would approve.

Grade: B++.

* = So I’ve decided to give beers letter grades for overall satisfaction. Starting now.